Past and Present
by spottedhorse
Summary: Catherine answers the phone to a voice from the past. What will it mean?
1. The Phone Rings

The phone was ringing. Catherine Willows reached for her cell phone. BUt the ringing continued. "Oh, land line," she muttered to herself. _Let it ring._ But some inner drive couldn't do that. She just had to pick it up, "Hello?"

"May I speak to Catherine Flynn...I mean, Willows, please?"

Catherine frowned. "Who?"

"Catherine Willows.."

"Speaking..."

"Ah, welll...my name is Gillian Riley. Um...you met me once, about nineteen years ago...when I was born. Ah, I'm the baby you gave away."

Catherine sat, her ear frozen to the receiver. Her heart was beating rapidly and so hard that she could hear it in her ears. _Oh my gosh..._

"Ms. Willows? Are you there?"

"Ah...y...yes...I'm here."

"I realize this must be a shock. And I really had not intended to find you, but I need a bit of medical history. And so I traced you. Please, I really don't want to intrude on your life. I just need some information. If I flew to Vegas, would you meet with me?"

"Medical information...I really don't know what I can offer..." Catherine had never been so stunned in her life.

"Please, it is very important. I promise, no one needs to know I'm there...or who I am or anything. I just need to talk with you a few minutes."

Catherine was beginning to recover her mind. Curiousity was seeping into her thoughts."Okay, I suppose that would be fine. Ah...do you need a place to stay?"

"Oh...no, I'll find a motel or something. I really do not want to intrude on your family."

"Hmmmm, look, plan on staying at the Monacco. I'll arrange a room for you. Do you have your ticket yet?"

"Actually, yes. I arrive tomorrow afternoon at 1:45. "

"Okay. Well, take a cab to the Monacco and tell the clerk who you are...I'm sorry, your name again?"

"Gillian Riley."

"Okay Gillian, I'll have it all arranged. I'll give you a chance to settle in and come meet you about 4:00. Will that be okay?"

"Thank you, yes. I...really didn't know what to expect...you're being very kind. Thank you."

"Okay, well, I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yes...tomorrow."

Catherine hung up the phone and sat staring at it. Her baby from so long ago. Her baby with him...their baby. She thought back to the night the baby was concieved. It had to have been that night; it was the only night they had ever spent together...well, in that way. He had been so loving, so wonderful. She wasn't new to sex but she had been knew to his kind of sex...because it wasn't just sex. It was the meeting of two souls. He had been so careful with her; much more careful than anyone before or since. And reverent; he had worshipped her as he had melded with her. Yes, it had been wonderful sex; but it had been so many things on so many levels of her being. No one had touched her in that way, ever. And she was sure no one ever would again. Her life since that night had been a constant search for something that even came close...or someone. But no one, and no experience, had equaled it. And now, the product of that one perfect night was coming to town. Catherine wasn't quite sure how she felt about that. And how should she treat this child? No, not a child, a young woman. And should she tell him?

Catherine went to bed, very uneasy. Sleep evaded her for most ot the night. Questions ran through her mind. More disturbing were the memories...why had it been only one night? How many nights had she lain awake wondering that?

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Okay...input...I need input!


	2. So many Questions

As the sun peaked through her window, Catherine gave up on sleep. Shuffling her way to the kitchen, she fixed the coffee pot and turned it on. Sleep would have been a good thing; she would need her wits today. Coffee was the best she could do, however.

As she sat, sipping the hot eye opening beverage, she thought again about the big question: do I tell him? She wasn't sure if there was a good answer to that. _He was just recovering from one severe emotional upset; how could she add to his stress?_ _On the other hand, what if the child...Gillian, wanted to meet him? What if he had the answer to whatever her medical question might be? It wouldn't be fair to blindside him like that._ She imagined the meeting. "_Oh hi, good to see you. By the way, this is your daughter, Gillian. She has questions for you." Not a pretty thought. _But...she thought, he really would be happier not knowing. _Well, at least I think he would_. She'd debated this with herself years ago when she gave up their daughter and now the debate was raging again. Imagining his reaction to the news wasn't exactly heart warming either. "Why didn't you tell me?' would be a gentle response. Either that or he would disappear again for days, just like he had after their one night together. It still infuriated her to remember how he had reappeared and behaved as if nothing had happened between them. She had taken her cue from him and had done a little disappearing of her own..._well, not a little...seven months was a pretty long disappearance._

But she had forgiven him. And she had forgiven herself, eventually. And very often at night her mind still wandered back to that one night; the night of perfection. She knew it was unrealistic to hold everyone and every encounter to that standard. But she did. Hell, she thought to herself..._even he couldn't have continued to live up to that standard if he hadn't backed away. Or could he..._

_Quit that_, _Catherine._ She was trying to reel in her thoughts and put them on a more productive track. But she couldn't resist asking the question that had been with her all these years. _Why didn't he love me enough to stay?_

Catherine busied herself with household chores...anything to keep her mind from being so active. By noon, the house was emaculate and she was out of cleaning projects. _Now what?_ She decided a nice warm soak in the tub was in order and she submerged herself in her favorite bath powders. After her bath, she felt refreshed and sat down to a bite to eat. Then it was time to dress to go meet her eldest daughter.

Catherine knocked softly on the door and waited. It opened slowly and a beautiful young lady stood in the doorway.

"Gillian?" Catherine mustered her best smile.

"Yes...you must be ...ah.. Ms.Wil..."

"Catherine, please."

"Come in."

Catherine walked into her room. The room was as she had ordered. One of the good things about inheiriting much of Sam's estate was owning nice hotels...and being able to share them. Turning toward Gillian, her eyes surveyed the woman. Yes, Catherine had to admit, this was no little girl. Her resemblence to Catherine was unmistakable. Had Catherine brought a photo of herself at twenty and compared it, there would be little difference. Two exceptions were immediatly apparent, however. While Gillian had blue eyes, they didn't have the greenish tint that Catherine's displayed; they were bright and crystal clear, like her father's. And she had a small dimple in her chin, also his contribution.

The mother found that she could muster little in the way of words. Her heart was breaking as she gazed at her daughter. _I should have kept her...no matter how he acted, I should have kept her_.

"Please, Ms...Catherine, sit down." Gillian motioned to a chair in the corner.

Catherine sat and Gillian sat in an opposite chair. "I know this must be a shock to you. And I really am sorry, but..."

"No, really. I understand. Well, I mean, you do need medical information. And I know you must just be curious. I know I would be...and I am."

Her smile was his too. The mouth was hers, but the way her smile crept across her face and lit her eyes...that was his. Catherine ached for the years that should have been theirs together. But she had a made her choice and she wasn't one for regrets. She might have to make an exception for this though.

"Well, yes I am curious. I wanted tosee what you were like. And if I look like you. I see that I do...but I see subtle differences too."

"Yes," Catherine replied. "There are a few differences...for instance, your eyes are your father's. Well, I mean...your birth father's.' Catherine smiled at her and then continued. "But please, tell me about your life...your parents, are they good parents? I suspect that they are because you seem to be a very lovely young lady."

A sadness enveloped her face. "Mom and Dad were killed in a car wreck last year." She sat silently before continuing. "But yes, they were very good parents. I was loved and pampered ...but not too much pampering. They taught me respect and caring for others. And they taught me to never look back...just keep looking forward. I try to remember those lessons and keep them close."

"So, are you in school...or working?"

"I'm a Chemistry major with my eye on medical school. If that doesn't work, I might try Pharmacy instead. Not retail pharmacy, but hospital pharmacy. I'd have to get a PhD becuase I'd like to be the one that doctors consult with on severe cases."

"Wow, those are impressive goals." _It figures, a science geek._ After an awkward moment Catherine decided perhaps she should tell Gillian a littel about herself. "Well, you probably are curious about me...after I left you with your parents, I came back to Vegas. This is where I grew up. It took me awhile to deal with my decision to let you go, but I didn't have a way to support you and I thought it was best ...anyway, finally I went to college and became a criminalist. I met a man, who I married and we had a daughter. He was killed and so I have been a single mom since."

She smiled, her eyes full of questions but shyly she asked only one. "And my father?"

"He's...complex. Obviously you are very intelligent; you can thank him for your brains. He's very shy...reticent even. And he's a work-a-holic."

"So you are still in touch with him?"

_I'll say._ "Yes, I am. But he doesn't know about you...I never told him."

"Oh..." disappointment covered her features.

"Ah...I'm not sure how many details you want. I mean, about us...our relationship and all..."

She looked up, expectantly. "Did you love him?"

"I'm not sure that I knew what love is back then, to be honest. But...as much as I ws capable of love...yes, I did." _And still do...and always will._

"And did he love you?" Her eyes were so like his...questioning but afraid of the answers.

"I really can't answer that...only he could. I thought he did but well, things kind of fell apart and he withdrew. Then I found out about you. I didn't want to use you to force him into something he couldn't handle and I certainly wasn't ready to take care of you on my own. I wanted you to have a better childhood than I had...my parent's loved me but they weren't the best role models...so I decided to find a good home for you and let you have a good life. I have thought of you many, many times and hoped that life was being good to you. I'm glad that it has been...for the most part, anyway."

She seemed satisfied with Catherine's responses. "Well, I know it seems I'm asking so many questions...and I appreciate your openess. It's just that I've wondered and now Ihave the chance to know..."

"I understand," smiled Catherine. "And I want you to feel like you can ask. It's just that I can't answer for him. I just don't know what he thought or felt..." _and still don't most of the time..." _he holds his emotions closely and as I said, he is a complex person."

She nodded. "Okay, that's fair."

"You said you need some medical information? I'm not sure waht I can tell you...there aren't any serious diseases in my family that I am aware of."

"Um..well," she looked hesitant. "I seem to be losing my hearing. The doctors say they think the condition is inheirited..."

"Oh...well, yes, if it is what I think it is. I'm sorry, I can't really be much help there except to say that your father had the same experience...only it didn't effect him until he was years older."

"He did? So, he is...deaf now?"

Catherine smiled. "No, he isn't. There was aproblem but he caught it in time and had surgery. He seems to be fine now. I do know his mother had the condition and she did go deaf, however."

"The doctor talked about surgery."

_She has the same expression that he gets when he's thinking..._

"I wish I could talk to him about it but since he doesn't know about me..." she was talking to herself as much as she was talking to Catherine.

"Gillian...how long can you stay?"

She looked at Catherine hopefully."I guess I could stay a few days...why?"

"Well, I think it would be good if you could talk to him. It's just that...well, since he doesn't know about you...it might take a day or two for me to break this to him and even then, I'm not sure what his reaction will be. If you can hang around awhile, that might give me a chance to get you two together..."

"Yes, I'd like that. Thank you."

The two women had chatted awhile longer on less personal topics. Catherine promised to tell her father as quickly as possible and also promised to call. Gillian would be waiting to hear. On the drive home, Catherine began working on a way to approach him with the subject. As she turned down her street she concluded that she would call him tonight and arrange to meet him tomorrow for a talk. Closing in on her house, however, she realized a phone call wouldn't be necessary. His car was in her drive.

She pulled in, killed the engine, and climbed out of hers. He was sitting on her front step and immediatly she realized something was terribly wrong. "Gil?" she spoke softly.

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So? What do you think? Review please.


	3. Being There

Catherine pulled into her driveway, killed the engine, and climbed out of her car. Gil Grissom was sitting on her front step and immediatly she realized something was terribly wrong. "Gil?" she spoke softly.

His eyes glanced up to hers. They were red and he looked like he'd recently been crying. _Gil...crying? Not him..._

"Gil...what's wrong? What has happened?" She stepped past him and unlocked the door. His gaze followed her but he didn't move. Stepping back to him, she reached down and grabbed his hand. "Come inside, Gil..."

He followed her, his hand clinging tightly to hers. She hadn't seen him like this since Sara..._oh my god, something has happened to Sara._ "Gil...Sara? Is she okay?"

He wouldn't look up and he didn't speak. He simply nodded his head yes. She led him to the couch and helped him sit. Then she went to the kitchen and poured them both a drink. Returning she handed him his glass and ordered him to drink. He took a sip and set the glass down. Her hand reached for his shoulder and she gently stroked him there. "Gil...what has happened?"

A single tear rolled down his cheek. "She's moving out," he whispered. "Cath, I'm sorry. I didn't know where else to go...who else to talk to."

"It's fine, Gil. I'm glad you came here." Patiently she waited for him to continue.

"I know you never liked the idea of me with Sara..." he looked at her...almost ashamed. That puzzled her but she sat quietly. "But you were so great after she was kidnapped. You were there, supporting me and prodding me with ways to help her. And looking out for her too. You are really a great friend, Cath..more than I deserve." His anguish was killing her. "That's why it doesn't seem fair for me to be here now...but," he swallowed hard and sighed, "I really needed tot see you."

"What's going on, Gil? She couldn't refrain from asking any longer.

Fighting for control, he took a deep breath and then spoke softly. "She's moving out. She told me to leave while she packs...so I was driving around and I was going crazy. I knew there was only one place for me to go...one place that would be safe..." He looked into her eyes for the first time and she saw his complete trust in her. Gil didn't trust easily; it had taken years for her to win that from him.

"Why is she moving out? You two seemed to be doing fine. I mean, I know things were a little rough after she was kidnapped and then all that time in the hospital. But you were right there with her...I was very proud of you, the way you were there for her."

His eyes had a lost look. "I tried, Cath. I tried as hard as I know how. You know how hard it was for me...you were there with me all the way. But...she said..."

"What did she say?"

"She said that I really don't love her...that she was my second choice."

"Gil! I can't believe she said that. You were right there...worrying about her and ...well, you held vigil at the hospital until she was out of the woods...and all that rehab. You were there supporting her and she said that to you.?"

"I tried to tell her...I tried to ...but, thing is, I couldn't lie to her. She was right...She was my second choice. I...when...well, she seemed to love me and want me and I was so tired of being alone...I knew it was wrong and I knew one or both of us would end up hurt. But it was really good for awhile. I think my sabbatical really confused her but we seemed to get through that and then she was angry when I helped Heather but we were working through that too and then she was taken and...things changed. I really wanted to make her happy...but, I just screwed up." He looked devastated.

"Sara was your second choice? But you said you love her more than anyone else...the only person you ever loved, I think is how you said it."

He thought back to his words, so many months ago. "I said Natalie thought I had taken away the only person she ever really loved and she was trying to do the same to me. I never said that I felt thtat way about Sara. That was the way Natalie saw it."

"Oh," was all she could think to say.

He seemed to be studying something on the floor. "I wish..." and then he seemed to fade away.

"What do you wish, Gil?"

His expression was changing but she couldn't decipher it. It seemed though that there was a great debate going on inside him. Finally, something clicked. "Cath," he was barely audible. His eyes were pleading for understanding. "Do you ever think about that night?"

_God, I can't believe he brought that up now._ But there was no doubt about which night he was referring to. "Yes, Gil...often."

HIs blue eyes pierced hers and boring into her. Courage was growing inside him. "Me too."

She watched him. _Don't push_, she cautioned herself. _Let him come to you._

"In fact, for years...it was all of I ever thought about when I closed my eyes. I could still see you...feel your touch..." his eyes closed, "Smell you...I..." he paused. Opening his eyes, it was as if a startling revelation struck him. "You really think of that night often?'

"Yes," she smiled. "I can still taste you, feel your hands on me, and your eyes..."

Suddenly he was very alert. There was an energy about him that seemed to spur him. His hand reached over to her face and he tilted her chin up, gazing in to her eyes. "I'm sorry, Catherine. I'm sorry I didn't trust my feelings all those years ago. I'm sorry for what we might have been and how miserably I took that away from both of us."

Her hand found his and she brought it to her lips, gently kissing it. Words were beyond her...even thoughts were muddled. All she knew was he finally had come back to her. As crazy as it was, he was back.

His lips felt so good on hers. She had missed them. His kiss was as tender as the first one had been all those years ago. Then he collected her into his arms and held her tight against his chest. She listened to his heartbeat...such a beautiful sound. There they sat for a very long time; not speaking, not thinking, just being one.


	4. Some of the Answers

Catherine was loving this closeness with Gil. His arms were the best place to be that she could ever imagine. But quite a few things were happening and their lives were changing; she needed answers to some questions. Gathering her thoughts, she beagn. "Gil...that night, all those years ago...when I woke up the next morning you were gone. And you stayed gone for days. What happened...I mean, I thought we... well, connected."

Grimacing at her inquiry but also knowing that it was one he needed to answer, he pursed his mouth and furrowed his brow in thought. After a moment, he replied. "Connected?" he whispered. "I've never felt so 'one' with another human being before or since. But I got scared. When I woke up, there you were...lying there; so beautiful...a goddess. No, all the goddesses of Greek legend wrapped up in one package.The things I felt...they overwhelmed me...completely. And as I watched you sleeping, I became more and more frightened." His expression told her that he was still feeling those emotions as strongly now as he had then.

"Fightened? Of me..."

"No...and yes. I know that you would never willingly hurt me. I knew it then. But there you were; a diety that had descended from Olympus to give me a night of perfection. My heart gave in to you totally; my mind ...well, it created all sorts of demons. You are all the things I'm not, Catherine. My brain kept telling me that it could never work; we'd never last, and my heart listened. And I knew that if I stayed with you...like that, my heart would break when the end came. So, coward that I am, I ran away. But I couldn't stay away for long. Like a moth to a flame, I came back. I had to be near you but I was terrified." His eyes pleaded for forgiveness.

"A night of perfection...yes, that's how I 've always remembered it too." She rested her head on his chest. "I was so hurt and angry, Gil. And confused. And when you came back and it was obvious you didn't want to acknowledge that it had happened, it crushed me. It took me a long time to learn to live with it. And a long time to forgive you...and myself. I thought I must have done something..."

Gently he lifted her face so that he could see her. "No, you did everything right. It was me...I was wrong, so unbelievably damned stupid and we've both paid the price. You say you have forgiven me; I've never been able to forgive myself."

"Gil, please...don't do that to yourself. Emotions have never been your strong suit. You're here, now...telling me this. A step in the right direction, don't you think?"

Swallowing hard, he continued to open himself up to her. " When you left for all those months, I thought I would die inside. I felt so...empty. And then you came back but then Eddie happened...and Lindsey. I hated Eddie for what he did to you. And I hated him more because...in my heart, Lindsey should have been mine."

Catherine knew that confession had taken a lot for him. Hatred was an alien emotion to Gil. And the mention of Lindsey; his regret concerning her, raised red flags in her mind about Gillian. How was he going to handle that?

"Somehow we grew into a friendship...the best relationship I've ever had with anyone. I came to depend on that so totally, that I was afraid of upsetting it. And it gave me a reason to be there for you when Eddie hurt you. And then you kicked Eddie out. I thought maybe then...I mean, I tried to get the courage, but..." Shame was etched into his every feature. "After he died, I thought maybe...but then you were seeing that other guy...a whole string of guys, actually. I wasn't surprised. Most men aren't as foolish as me. Remember Novak? I was so angry? I wanted it to be me you turned to for company, not some bar jockey. And he hurt you... I was so angry at him...at you, but mostly...me. If I hadn't been such a coward all these years, it never would have happened."

She had never completely understood why Gil had been so upset over that episode. He'd done a good job of camoflauging his real feelings on the subject by using the lab as cover. But finally it made sense to her.

"And after the Trent case...you had unfinished business." He closed his eyes as a wave of desire flooded over him. "I wanted so much to be your unfinished business. I watched you walk down the hall and I felt you slipping away. It's been like that all these years."

"And Sara? How did she come into play?"

"We'd met at a seminar I did several years back. There was a connection. She..." he glazed over as he searched for the right word. "She seemed to understand me. We stayed in touch. And then when the Holly Gribbs case blew up, I sent for her. She read much more into it than I intended. I mean, well...as the seminar closed we spent some time together and well...things happened, but I thought we ended on a friendship note. I expected that to continue here, especially since I would be her supervisor. Seems she had other ideas. Then she got into a little trouble...got suspended, well...you remember, of course. I tried to help, which only seemed to encourage her. Clueless as I usually am, even I knew that she was expecting more from me. Finally, I quit fighting it. She didn't frighten me...well, no more than any other mortal woman. And it felt good to have someone to care about like that. And I was happy."

"You were happy? I thought that you two had connected but wasn't sure. I even went on a couple of fishing expeditions with Sara but couldn't get her to rise to the bait. I know that all her troubles seemed to clear up suddenly...until the last year or so. I know she was miserable when you left for that sabbatical."

"I was burning out, Cath. I had to go. And I knew she wouldn't understand. I thought about trying to explain it to her, but I knew she'd think it had something to do with her. I should have told her earlier, I know...tried to explain. But...what can I say, I was being me."

"And somehow she realized that you had feelings for me?"

Turning bright red, he scowled. "I don't think it was a mystery after I blurted out your name one night when we were...well...I was, um...very excited."

Catherine fought hard not to laugh. She knew it really wasn't funny but the image that he created in her mind seemed like something out of a bad comedy. He picked up on her struggle. "It was pretty intense after that," was all he said.

She lost it at that point and started giggling. "Well, I would think so! If you had done something like that to me...well, let's just say that you'd be missing some body parts."

He closed his eyes and seemed to be concentrating. As she watched, however, she realized he was on emotional overload. He was fighting for self control. She'd seen this little maneuver of his before. "Gil," she said gently, "quit trying to control everything. Just let it out. It's okay. You're here with me. It's safe."

Slowly he opened his eyes and looked into hers. He seemed to be searching for something. She had never seen his body so tense. Then finally he began to relax. He pulled her face to his and he kissed her...a long, shy but hungry, soul baring kiss.

"Catherine, I should have said this years ago," he whispered next to her ear. "I love you."

For years, she had wanted to hear those words...ached to hear them. "Gil, I need to tell you something...and when I do, I'm not sure you'll feel that way anymore."

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Okay, this is where I do the shameless begging for input. Have I adequatly explained why Gil has been such a dolt all these years? Any other comments? Love to hear from you!


	5. Revelations

Gil tilted his head and arched his eyebrow. "What could you possibly say that would make me change how I feel, especially after all of these years.? Unless...," fear crept into his eyes, "you don't love me." he whispered. His eyes looked to the floor and his body slumped.

Catherine took a deep breath. She took his hand in hers and held it tightly, her thumb stroking it. "That's not it, Gil. It's...well...after you pulled away...were so distant, I didn't know what to think. I," she swallowed hard, "I didn't know what to do." His head came up slowly until he was almost looking at her. He couldn't seem to bring himself to look into her eyes, though. She continued. "A few weeks later...I found out that I was pregnant."

His head whipping up, the blue of his eyes hit her, full force. Terror...and then anguish swept across his features before he installed his mask, the expression he used when he wanted to hide his feelings. Watching her, he waited for her to continue.

"I wanted to tell you...but you were so remote. You would barely speak to me. I decided that you probably wouldn't want the baby. And I didn't see how I could take care of it on my own."

Horror and panic broke through the mask, as he thought he knew where she was going. His mouth fell open and he looked like he wanted to say something. But no words came out. Silently he waited to hear her confirm his fear.

She wanted him to say something, to hold her...something. But he just watched, and waited...his silence feeding a growing fear within her. "I thought about an ab..." she couldn't say it, "but I couldn't. I just couldn't do that." His face began to relax as the panic subsided. "The baby...it was us...what I felt for you and what I thought you felt for me; at least for that one night." Her eyes looked into his, all of her love flowing into the gaze. "It was your baby, Gil. I couldn't kill it...maybe if it had been another man's, but not yours." Taking her face between his hands, he looked deep into her eyes, looking for answers; knowing the answers rested in his heart...not hers. Bringing her head to his chest and hugging her, he finally spoke, although it was barely a whisper. "You gave it away?"

"Yes. It was the only thing I could think to do. That's why I was gone all that time. There was a lawyer that helped me find good parents. And I lived in their town until the baby was born." She listened to the rythym of his heartbeat and drew comfort. His arms felt warm around her; he hadn't rejected her yet.

"Cath,was it a boy or a girl?" She heard, rather than saw his tears.

"A little girl...we had a little baby girl, Gil. I saw her once. She was a beautiful little baby...perfect." His heart was beating fast now and his breathing was erratic. She knew he was upset.

"I'm sorry, Cath," he sobbed; his emotions finally errupting. He no longer had control; they controlled him. He held onto her, clinging. "I'm sorry I was so afraid...that I ran away. You had to go through all that...we could have...My god, Catherine...we could have been a little family. All these years...it could have..."

Lifting her head, she raised her fingers to his mouth, stilling his words. "NO, Gil...don't do that. We both made mistakes. I won't let you shoulder the blame...if I had said something to you...maybe; I just didn't know how." His expression frightened her. Guilt and a myriad of other negative emotions were playing across his face. She knew he would not forgive himself easily.She had to find a way to help him. "In truth, neither of us was ready..."

"But...we could have learned, Cath. We should have."

"Well," she sighed. "We didn't. And she's all grown up now." She fought hard to keep regret out of her voice.

"Do you know what happwned to her? Could we find her?"

"Actually...she found me.That's where I was when you were waiting on my doorstep. She called me the other day and asked if we could meet...and we did."

Hope was creeping inot his expression. "You met her? What's she like?"

Tears formed in her eyes as she smiled. "Gil, she's so beautiful...and smart. And very independent. The people that adopted her...they did a good job. You'll like her...if you want to meet her, that is. She wants to meet you."

Staring off into nothingness, his eyes glistened. "She wants to meet me? Why? I mean..." he seemed at a loss for words.

"Yes. She was asking all sorts of questions. The reason she called was that she had a medical question...but I think there is more to her visit than that. I think she wants to know more about us and she was using the medical thing as an excuse."

"Medical question...Cath, she's not..."

"She's struggling with her hearing. But she knew about the surgery option. I told her what I could about your experience, but I think you should talk to her." She could tell that he was wary, but he seemed intrigued.

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea," he said calmly.

"So, I'll call her and arrange a meeting?"

Nodding his head in agreement, Gil got a far away look in his eye.

"It'll be okay, Gil. I promise."

He smiled at her; his expression was anything but happy. 'I can't seem to stop..."

"Stop what?" she looked puzzled.

"Stop hurting the people that I care about the most."

"Gil?"

"All these years...I've been hurting you all this time with my distance...and I hurt Sara. And now, this child I never even knew I had, I've hurt her by making her face the possibility of going deaf."

"But you can help her, Gil...you can tell her things that no one else can...And as for me, any hurt that I may have felt has been far outweighed by your friendship...the fact that you've always been there when I needed you. Just because we weren't 'a couple,' well, that doesn't lessen what you have meant to me. Knowing you were there and that you cared...that has meant everything to me."

Hugging her again, he nuzzled his face into her hair. THen he lifted his head, just enough to look into her face. "You said you thought I might feel diferently after you told me...I don't. If anything, I think I love you even more. I wish that I had been there for you, Cath...and for her. I promise, I'll always be there for you from now on...nomatter how frightened I get."

She could see the sincerity of his feeling in his face and knew that he meant what he had said. Finally, she knew everything would be okay.

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	6. Discovery

Early the next morning Catherine picked Gil up from his townhouse and drove them to meet their daughter for breakfast. He was very quiet on the ride to the hotel, staring out of the window most of the way. Catherine knew that he was in one of his trances, deep in his own thoughts, and he would emerge when he was ready. She also knew him well enough to know he was gathering his courage. Years of loving the man beside her told her to leave him to his thoughts and trust that he would be ready when the time came to act.

They rode the elevator up to her floor and walked down the hall to her room. About halfway there, Gil gently slipped his hand into Catherine's and squeezed. As they stopped in front of her door, he raised her hand to his lips and tenderly kissed it. Looking into her eyes he whispered, "I love you." She smiled at him, tears threatening in the back of her eyes. And then she knocked.

Gil stood, mesmerized, as the door opened to reveal his daughter. A Catherine look-a-like as far as he could see, she was beautiful just like her mother. Catherine introduced the two and they moved inside. "Room service should be up with our breakfast soon," offered Catherine.

"Oh, thank you" from Gillian.

Gil couldn't take his eyes off of her and he couldn't think of anything to say either. She was amazing. The two women talked as he watched. Fascinated by her expressions and mannerisms, he detected so much of Catherine in her, but also a little of himself. It was as if she had taken the best each had to offer and blended it all into an amazing mix. Finally he heard his name, "Gil?" It was Catherine.

"Ah...yes..." he answered, still not looking away from Gillian.

"We were just saying that isn't it such a coincidence that she was named Gillian...the first letters of her name being GIL?"

He blinked...it hadn't registered with him...but not much had since he had entered the room. "I thought maybe you had done that...maybe asked her parents to..."

"No, they did it all on their own," came a response from Gillian.

"Then it is quite a coincidence," he conceded.

Catherine smirked at this. He was always telling her that he didn't believe in coincidence. But he was trying very hard to be pleasant...socialble even. She didn't want to tease him about his apparent change of opinion.

"So, Gil..." Gillian started, hesistantly. "Catherine told me that you had surgery to help with your hearing?"

A knock sounded at the door and Catherine told the two to continue; she would see to breakfast. She opened the door and directed the waiter as she listened to him explaining his experience...his denial at first and then later the rush for surgery as he realized he had almost waited until too late. He talked about the surgery itself and his relief when it was done and he could hear again. He revealed little things to Gillian that even Catherine hadn't heard before. She was pleased that he was able to be so open with their daughter. She understood the effort it took.

Gillian had many, many questions for her parents. She wanted to know everything about them and they, in turn wanted to hear all about her. They talked all morning and into the afternoon. The women did most of the talking, with Gil listening and relishing every moment. The man who rarely let anyone in opened himself completely to her; and was eager to do so. Catherine was surprised at first at how easily he asnwered her questions and then followed with ones of his own. Her own heart swelled as she watched him give his heart away to their daughter. Catherine hoped that the connection wouldn't end here; that Gillian wouldn't disappear and break Gil's heart in the act...and hers. But it was a risk they both needed to take.

Finally Catherine broke the conversation. "Gillian, I'm really sorry. But we work the graveyard shift and it's getting to be our bedtime."

She was disaapointed but asked if they could get together again tomorrow?

"Of course." Gil responded immediatly. "We want to spend as much time with you as possible."

"So do I," she said. And then shyly, "I'd like to see where you work and understand more about what you do."

"Gil's face lit up."I can show you the lab tomorrow, if you'd like. Pick you up about noon?"

"That would be wonderful," she replied with a warm, Catherine type smile. "I'll see you then."

Again the car ride was quiet, Gil deep in his thoughts. Once they were in his driveway, he turned to Catherine. "She's beautiful and so much like you. She's...amazing." Almost as if he was surprised he asked, "we did that?"

"Well, her adoptive parents certainly did a wonderful job of raising her to be a special young woman." She smiled. "But...I think we gave them some pretty good material to work with."

Glancing away for a moment, he swallowed. And then his eyes came back to her, creating sensations that only he was capable of creating in her. "Cath...thank you."

"For what?"

"Not taking the easy way all those years ago...having the courage, more courage than I had, to give her life. And for letting me share her now."

"She's your daughter too, Gil. No way I'm letting you out of it." Her tone was gentle and light, even teasing, a little.

A small smile crept up at the corners of his mouth."I'm not running anymore." He leaned over and kissed her, caressing her lips with his own...and then he was out of the car and headed inside his house. Catherine lingered a minute, savoring his kiss before starting for home.

Catherine wasn't scheduled to work that night and so had spent a quiet afternoon and evening with Lindsey. As she began to think of her own bedtime, there was a knock at her door. Irritated that anyone would disturb her at this time of night, she opened the door. Gil was standing on the other side. Her eyes feasted on him. He was wearing a suit, his dark blue one that set off his eyes. And a crisp white shirt with his red tie. She loved him in that combination. "Kind of dressed up for work, aren't you?"

"Can I come in?"

She stepped aside to let him enter. Turning to her, his hands held her shoulders. There was an excitemnet about him, an energy that poured from him. "Catherine...I've been thinking."

"Always a dangerous thing, Gil." she smirked. "What about?"

Her attempt at humor was lost on him. He was too caught up in his excitement. "I talked myself out of a lifetime of happiness twenty years ago. Right now I'm scared out of my mind by how much I love you. And I'm scared witless about Gillian. But I don't want to miss out on any of it... not ever again. I'm not running away."

"Gil, you already told me you would always be here..."

"Right...but... Cath?" His eager expression fascinated her. She knew something big was happening with him.

"Gil?" She was really confused. This wasn't like him at all.

"Marry me?" His crystal clear, blue eyes implored her to agree.

Stunned, her mouth hung open. Then she found her wits and spoke. "Did you just say..."

"Marry me. Now. Right now, tonight. I don't want to miss another minute."

Her mind was whirling. "But Gil, you have to work..."

"I called Ecklie and told him I wouldn't be back until Monday. Go put on your favorite dress and let's get married tonight."

Still in a state of dibelief she stared at him. _He called Ecklie? He took time off from work?_ Suddenly Lindsey appeared. "Mom, what are you waiting for?"

"W.. Wh... What?" Catherine stuttered.

""You heard him. Go put on your favorite dress. You're getting married." Lidsey was clearly excited too.

"But..." Her mind was frozen. A man who looked like Gil Grissom had just appeared at her door and wanted her to marry him...right now. _No way that is Gil. That's too spontaneous. Gil would have to analyze it and formulate the question. _

Lindsey took her mother's hand and led her to her room. They surveyed the choices and decided on a cream colored dress that Catherine knew Gil especially liked. She'd seen him with his mouth hanging open over it on several occassions. GIl had already called Lily, Catherine's mother, to come stay with Lindsey and by the time the bride was ready, Lily had arrived.

They found a quiet little chapel; not the usual Vegas gaudy. The words were said and the kiss exchanged. Then Gil Grissom gazed into the eyes of his beautiful wife. Yes..._his_ wife. He couldn't believe what he had just done. It was the most impromptu, insane thing of his life...and he knew in his heart, it would prove to be the smartest thing he ever did.

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	7. Minor Problems

Mr. and Mrs. Grissom had a small problem. _Technically, I suppose it is my problem,_ thought the groom_, since it is the groom's responsibility to plan the honeymoon. But how does one plan a honeymoon when one doesn't know he's getting married until about two hours before the event?_ Nervousness was settling in. Once he had decided that he wanted to marry this beautiful creature, a raw energy had overtaken him spurring him into action without thought. But that energy was waning and Gil's natural reticence was reclaiming him. He wasn't rethinking his decision to marry her; he knew that was right. But now what?

"Cath?" he almost squeaked. _Damn, don't sound like such a wimp._ They were walking back to his car.

"Gil?" She was looking into his eyes, her own laughing at his sudden change of demeanor.

_She knows what's happening to me_. _She knows I'm scared...and she's laughing at me._ Oh, this wasn't going as well as he had hoped. _Come on, Grissom...get it together_.

Catherine had been swept away in a whirlwind when he had appeared on her doorstep, essentially telling her to marry him. It was a dream come true and his boldness had been astounding. But she was more comfortable with this Gil Grissom...her Gil.

Swallowing with difficulty, he took the plunge. "I didn't plan anything for a honeymoon. We'll have a real one later but...for tonight...Well, going back to your house seems ...strange. And my place...well, it still feels like Sara might walk in. I'm sorry, I didn't plan this very well."

Laughing aloud now, she wrapped her arms around his arm and leaned into him. "It's simple, Gil. We'll get a room somewhere."

"But...I don't know where to go... and before you suggest one of your casinos, no. You are not paying for our wedding night."

"Okay, I'll let you pay. But I don't see why it is okay for me to be a kept woman, but you don't want to be a kept man."

He smiled and replied, "I'll let you keep me some other time...in fact, forever. But this night is my night to keep you...very close." He nuzzled her ear."Very, very close." Then he gently kissed her cheek.

Arriving at the car, he helped her in. Then sliding into his side, he continued."Bellagio?"

"Gil, I've wanted this for twenty years, we can do it in the backseat for all I care. I'm tired of waiting and I want you...now." There was no mistaking the lust that oozed in her voice.

Blood rushed through his body, especially certain parts as he responded physically to her words and her tone. Glancing at her, he smiled. "I think I'm going to enjoy being your kept man." Starting the ignition, the car took off. Thankfully there was a room available. Gil didn't think he could have survived another ride to another hotel. The silence had been unbelievably taunting, their sexual tension building as they sped down the road. Silence for him was usually peaceful. He was feeling many things; peace was not among them.

Finally they were in a room. Before the door had closed they were already in each other' arms. Twenty years of pent up desires were fighting to the surface and threatening to explode. _Removal of the clothes is such an awkward part of love making,_ he thought as he fussed with her dress. Then suddenly his hands stopped. He gazed into her lovely blue eyes and was suddenly bewildered. _She's so beautiful...and she's here with me. After all these years...what if...she said our one night had been perfect. What if tonight ...isn't?_

Catherine was suddenly feeling a little apprehensive also. They both had strong memories of their time together. _What if the memory is better than the reality? What if I disappoint him?_ Normally Catherine had no doubts about her ability to please a man...more than please a man. But this wasn't other men and they had set a high standard before.

Sensing her sudden timidity, he actually began to relax. They were having some of the same feelings. She would understand. That comforted him. Slowly he began his task again. His mouth found hers as they joined in a long, demonstrative kiss; each expressing emotions for which there were no words...at least not adequate ones.

Their first night and morning was a long, unconstrained manifestation of their years of loving. Where it had threatened to begin as a raw lustful event, it had evolved into something much more intense and meaningful... a true expression of their love. Catherine had never felt so cherished and revered. His every touch and caress told her how much he treasured her. She felt like a queen; no he had called her a goddess. From the lips of any other man that would have simply been a flattering word. From his lips, it carried her to new heights; to other worlds. He made her feel better about herself than she had ever felt; he had always been able to do that ...uplift her. But that night, he touched her soul and made her belive in herself as he saw her. The air was thin in her new world and a bit dizzying. She just hoped she would be able to live up to his vision of her and not plummet back to earth.

For Gil, she quite simply completed him. He felt things with her that always had seemd to escape him before. His fear fell away and he felt confidence in his ability outside of a lab. She showed him that he was capable of absolute love...no reservations. His commitment to her was total and uninhibited. She was the only person in his entire life that he had so unreservedly opened himself to and he knew she would be the only one with which he would ever be so free.

As they lay, their bodies entangled she whispered, "Gil, are you still planning to meet Gillian?"

"Yes, at noon. Do you want to come?"

"No, I don't think so. At the lab...well, if they see her with me...that might raise questions. Besides, I don't think I'm ready to face them yet."

He looked down at her as her fondled her hair."Face them?"

"Well, I'd never be able to keep 'us' a secret like you and Sara did. And explaining Gillian on top of that...well, I'm not ready."

"You have a point. I'm not sure how to introduce her. At least it will be the day shift there...not our guys, yet. And if you were with me...there's no way I'd keep my hands off." He smiled and gently kissed the top of her head.

She giggled at his remark. "I love you, Mr. Grissom."

"I love you too, Mrs. Grissom." His heart swelled as he said her new name.

Still entwined in body and soul, the newly married couple drifted off to sleep.

PUREJOYPUREJOYPUREJOY

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	8. The Day After

Light worked it's way into Catherine's consciousness. But things felt different. She wasn't in her bed in her room and she had the impression that there was someone else in the bed with her. And then she remembered. Her eyes fluttered open to the sight of crystal blue ones gazing at her. A smile crept across the face of the owner of those eyes. "Good morning," he whispered.

She snuggled closer to him and mumbled a "morning" back to him. "Feel good," she cooed as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "Yes, you do," he answered.

They stayed like that for a few minutes; warm and content. Her senses drank in all that he had to offer; the warmth of his touch, the smoothness of his skin, his special smell, and as she gently kissed his chest...there was his taste. It had all seemed like a fairy tale last night, but now she was awake and he was still there...very real. She intended to relish every moment, especially moments like this one. _But_, she thought to herself, _we'll have many more of these moments now. Every morning, in fact._ Cheerfully she realized that this would be her waking up ritual from now on. She had never been so happy.

Finally, he began to move. Her hand lingered on him and she could tell he was reluctant to untangle himself from her. "Cath if I'm going to meet Gillian, I have to get moving. I need to run by my place and change. I'll drop you off at your house first."

"Yeah, okay...guess the honeymoon is over, huh?"

Roguishly he looked her over. "Honey, as long as you sleep in that outfit, the honeymoon will never end."

Catherine giggled as she realized she was wearing absolutely nothing. "Deal," she said, "as long as you sleep like that." she said winking. He wasn't wearing anything either.

A sheepish grin grew on him as he blushed slightly. "I think I get the better part of the bargain, but I'm happy to participate." He leaned over and gently kissed her and then headed to the bathroom.

When they arrived at her house, he walked her inside. "I'll be back later," he said. "When do you plan to tell Lindsey about Gillian?"

"Well, there's so much happening. But I suppose I can't keep it from her any longer. Tonite, I guess." She wasn't looking forward to it.

"Okay, well...I want to be here with you. I know Lindsey is your daughter and I'm ...just the new step dad, but I helped you create the situation with Gillian ...and besides, I want to be here for you...and Lindsey too."

He never ceased to amaze her. For someone who wasn't good with people and definitely not with overly personal situations, he sure was jumping in the deep end. "Then I'll wait until you get back. Besides, I was kind of hoping you might want to spend the night with me again." She was teasing now.

"Thought you'd never ask..." he returned her teasing mood. "I love you, Mrs. Grissom." He smiled as he said her name.

She watched as he drove away. Her heart and her head were full of so many thoughts and emotions, but happiness was first and foremost. "Wow," she said to no one in particular. "Is he ever full of surprises."

Gil picked Gillian up at her hotel and they had a bite of lunch at the team's favorite dinner. No one from the crew was there, so he didn't have any explaining to do...not yet anyway. She seemed to appreciate that he was letting her into his world this way and tried not to push too far. He appreciated her consideration. "Gillian," he stated, "We...I, um...well, no one knows about you. Catherine didn't come today because she was afraid if people saw you two side by side, well...it might start a lot of questions. Honestly, we're still trying to adjust and get to know you...and, we're just not ready for everyone else's reaction. I hope you understand?" His eyes begged forgiveness.

To his surprise, she seemed happy that he wouldn't be introducing her as his daughter. "I'm still new with all of this too," she said. "Let's just take it a little at a time. I do want to see where you work...understand it better. But I don't want to intrude. So, for anyone that asks, I'm Gillian Riley...a friend from out of town...maybe make that a daughter of a friend...okay?"

Warmth and a growing affection for his mid life surprise was growing in Gil. He was hoping that one day he would be introducing her as more than the daughter of an old friend.

They toured the lab and even managed to avoid the CSIs and labrats that might actually ask questions. Gil was feeling very lucky when he managed to avoid Ecklie also. She had been impressed with the lab and even more so with his office. She had examined every one of his specimens and met his pet tarantula. He showed her Catherine's office too. After two hours, they left.

"Well, I'm very impressed," she said as they climbed inot his car. "I had no idea that so much went into catching criminals. I thought the cops just hunted them down."

Gil smiled as he listened to her. "Well, there is some of that too. But more and more, the evidence that we collect and analyze is what gets them convicted. It's an exciting time to be in forensics."

"I see that."

"So...you're a Chem major? Where do you go to school?"

"I'm at a community college right now, getting my core classes. It's cheaper that way. I hope to transfer to a university next fall."

Thinking for a moment, Gil finally offered..."We have an excellent school here, you know."

"I do know. But I would be an out of state student. I'm not sure I could afford that. But it would be nice...give me a chance to get to know you and Catherine better. Maybe even...well, I don't know...sort of be like a family on the weekends or something." Her voice had gotten quiet at the end, as if she were afraid he wouldn't want that.

Trying to come up with a good response, Gil finally sighed. "I'd like that. And I'm sure Catherine would too. She has a daughter, Lindsey, from her marriage...well, he died a few years ago. Anyway, Lindsey doesn't know about you yet. Cath is telling her tonight and I'm going to be there too. I feel like we keep leaving you alone, but if you can just hang in there one more night...I'd like for all of us to have dinner tomorrow night. Okay?" He smiled across the front seat at her.

Her face lit up. "Sure that sounds great."

"Good. Once Lindsey knows, it'll make things a lot easier. You won't have to be a secret anymore."

They spent another hour together over a snack in one of the hotel eateries. He walked her to her room and then said good bye at the door. "We'll see you tomorrow morning, okay?"

"Yes," she smiled. "And good luck tonight."

"Thanks." He headed back to his car feeling very good about the afternoon with his daughter..._my daughter...wow Grissom, you're in with both feet now, aren't you?_He reflected on his situation...all the changes over the past couple of days. Normally he hated change...it frightened him. But right now, fear was the last thing Gil Grissom was thinking about.

He drove back to Catherine's house and waited with her for Lindsey to come home. As they sat on the couch snuggling, he told her about his afternoon with Gillian. "Cath, what would you say if I said I'd like to help her with her then she could afford to come to school here and we could see more of her...get to know her better."

"I think that's a great idea, Gil. But we have to be careful. It has to be what she wants too."

"I know. I just don't want us to lose her again."

A little pang of guilt shot through Catherine as she realized how important all of this was to him. _He'd have been a good father._

"I still think it is amazing...I mean...well, she's a part of us, Cath. Everything that we are went into making her. It...well...it's amazing." He was at a loss for more words but his feelings were evident in his face.

"She is very special Gil. And I'm happy that you are so happy about all of this. More than that, I'm happy for me...that you'll be my bed buddy for the rest of our lives."

Laughing at her last remark, he nuzzled her neck. "Oh, I want to be more than just a buddy, Mrs. Grissom. Last night was only an introduction to my intentions." Then he firmly planted a kiss on her lips, first devouring them and then invading her with his tongue. Her response told him that she was feeling as desirous as he. But then she pulled away.

Straightening herself a little she said through deep breaths, "Lindsey will be home soon. And if you do that to me anymore..."

"Okay," he smiled. "I'll be patient. But I do intend to pick up where I left off. After all, we have a lot of years to make up for."

"Oh, you bet we do and I'll hold you to it. But first, I have to talk to Lindsey. And I have to be able to concentrate when I do...so no looking so damned sexy while I'm talking to her." She was smirking.

"You think I look sexy?"

Catherine was stunned by his surprise at her off hand remark. "Gil...you don't realize your effect on women? I mean, really...you don't?"

His questioning expression told her that he didn't. "Damn Gil...with those eyes and that those lips...hearts flutter when you smile. And the way you treat women...that's sexy in itself. When you had the trimmed beard, you were even more devastating...grow it back...please...for me?" She was wearing her 'pretty please' look that Gil couldn't refuse.

"My beard was devastating?"

"Oh god, Gil..." she flushed and took a deep breath just to emphazise her point. "I can't believe you were that unaware..."

"And I can grow it back?" he was teasing her now.

"Only if you want me all over you, all the time."

A huge grin broke out on his face. Then he got serious, "Sara made me shave it...said she didn't like it on me..."

"She just didn't like how it affected other women. But it's okay with me because I know..."

"Know what?"

"You are mine and any woman that dares to lay a hand on you will end up on Al Robbins' slab. They can look all they want and then they can envy me because I'll be the woman on the arm of sexiest man in Vegas."

She was teasing but Gil sensed that she meant what she was saying. "You're scary." He laughed.

"Just remember...looky, no touchy."

"Oh you don't have to worry about me. I won't notice if they are looking because from now on, the only woman I'll be looking at is you." He pulled her closer to him and hugged her tightly."I love you Cath...more than I have words to say it with. But I do...with my whole heart and soul."

It was then that Lindsey walked into the house.

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	9. We Have News

Lindsey came into the house and looked inquisitively into the living room, "Mom?"

"Yes, honey...we're here."

"I thought you two would still be on your honeymoon," she said with a dreaminess that only teenage girls can manage.

"Well, Gil says we'll always be on our honeymoon," her mother answered smiling. "But I missed you. And Gil swept me out of the house so fast...well, I want to talk to you. A lot of things are going to change now. And we want to include you. Also, we have some news we need to share."

A look of horror was on Lindsey's face. "Om my gosh, you didn't _have_ to get married, did you Mom...because that would be so embarrassing...I mean. ... my mom getting knocked up and _having_ to get married...oh, please...not _that_."

Gil's jaw dropped. He was absoulutly aghast. Looking at Catherine, all he could do was shake his head. She glared at her daughter. "Lindsey! No, we didn't _have_ to get married. And why on earth would you say it like that anyway?"

The girl shrugged her shoulders, "well, you said you have news..."

Catherine rolled her eyes at her daughter. Gil spoke quietly, "Lindsey...I love your mother. And some things have happened...that... made me ...understand that I would never be happy until I told her. And...well, you see, I've loved her for a very long time."

"Well, duh..." and Lindsey rolled her eyes; an excellent imitation of her mother.

"Since you already knew it, I wish you had told me," smirked Gil "Anyway...we've missed so many opportunities over the years for happiness together and last night...I just couldn't stand to miss anymore. So that's why we _had_ to get married."

Again, Catherine was amazed by her new husband. _Where'd that come from_? Looking back at her daughter, she continued the conversation. "But there is something we need to tell you...and I hope you'll hear us out and try to understand."

To her credit, Lindsey suddenly understood the seriousness of her mother's tone and realized that this really was very important. "Okay Mom. I'll try, I promise."

Catherine began her explaination. "Well, you know that Gil and I have known each other for years...a lot of years, right? In fact I knew him before I met your father. We...um, well we dated a little. I was dancing back then and he had just moved to Vegas. We were...well, we really liked each other...a lot. In fact, we thought we were in love then. And, well...one thing led to another...and we spent a night together." She paused to catch her breath and to gage her daughter's reaction so far.

"Lindsey looked from one to the other and seemed to be okay so far. She did have one question. "You slept with Gil before you married Daddy?"

"Um..yes honey. Like I said, we both thought we were in love. Anyway, that...event...seemed to change things for us, confuse us. We got our signals all crossed and each of us thought the other wanted out and we drifted apart."

Gil was watching Catherine. He couldn't believe how kind she was being about his behavior all those years ago. In truth, he'd been a coward and an ass.

"But the thing is...well, a few weeks later, I found out that I was pregnant."

Lindsey's eyes grew wide. "Pregnant...a baby?"

"Yes, sweetie. And things between Gil and I were so awkward, well...I just couldn't seem to tell him. You have to remember that I was a lot younger then...I didn't know what to do."

Sadness filled Lindsey's voice as she asked quietly, "Did you kill the baby?"

Horror struck Catherine. "Oh no, honey...I couldn't. But I did go away for awhile and then gave the baby up for adoption when it was born."

"So..." Lindsey was analyzing, "I have a brother or sister out there somewhere?"

"Actually...a sister. And she's in Vegas. She called the other day...out of the blue. And I...we met her."

Lindsey thought for a moment. Her expression revealed nothing. "Wh...what's she like?"

"She's very nice. I think you would like her. But it is up to you if you want to meet her or not. We're not trying to force this on you. It's just that...well, she will be a part of our life now. I don't know...I don't think any of us know how much. But now that we know her...we can't just ignore her."

"Why not? You did for all those years..." Lindsey's sudden burst of anger turned toward Gil, "and you left my Mom to deal with being pregnant all by herself. And if you had just stayed with her then she wouldn't have married my dad and he wouldn't have hit her and ...and I'd have a father now."

Her words bit hard into Gil's heart. He knew why she was angry and he knew she was right. Catherine tried to soothe her daughter and calm her but she wouldn't quit. "It's all your fault. All the hurt and Mom crying at night because you didn't seem to care about her and all those sleezy guys and...and..." she burst into tears.

Tears formed in his eyes too. "Lindsey, " his voice croaked. "Lindsey, I'm sorry. You're right, I really made a huge mistake back then when I let your mom get away from me...actually, I probably pushed her away. I can't explain it so that you can understand...I barely understand it myself. But I was wrong. And...I , we missed out on enjoying our daughter. And I missed out on being your Dad. And worst of all. your Mom has paid the price. I...I plan to spend the rest of my life making it up to her...and to you. Please...Lindsey...please, can you forgive me?"

Catherine wasn't sure why he was apologizing to Lindsey. He hadn't sone anything to wrong the child as far as Catherine could see. But it seemed to quieten Lindsey. She looked at Gil and frowned. "I'll forgive you, Gil...but if you ever make Mom cry again, I'll hate you forever."

Relieved, Gil gazed back at the teen. "Honey, I would never intentionally hurt your mother...or you, for that matter. And if I do make her cry, I expect you to set me straight, okay?"

So a pact was made between Catherine's husband and her younger daughter that her happiness would be his first priority

Having settled down, Lindsey turned back to her mother. "So, when can I meet my sister?"

Catherine looked at Gil, who smiled. "How's tomorrow morning sound? Maybe we could spend the day together...all of us. Unless she has other plans."

Lindsey smiled and then her eyes blinked. "Hey, what's her name, anyway?"

"Gillian. So, you think you're okay with this?" asked her mother.

"I'm trying Mom. It...it's all new and feels funny. But I do want to meet her. And I want you to be happy and I know how much you love Gil...and he loves you too. I've seen it, like...forever. So, I'll try to be okay with it."

Catherine hugged her daughter. Gil smiled as he watched his two girls. He was beginning to like this 'being a dad' thing.

"Hey, why don't we go get something to eat. Lindsey, you can pick the place." offered Gil.

Lindsey turned to him and smiled. "There's this new pizza place all the kids are talking about. Can we go there?"

"Sure."

"Okay...I need to go freshen up a little and fix my make-up. You know...just in case anyone will be there." And she dashed upstairs.

Gil watched her run out of the room and turned to Catherine. "Do her moods always swing like that? And who does she think we'll see?"

"Gil...honey, this was an easy one. Her moods are usually a lot worse. And as for who she thinks we might see, that's easy...boys."

Gil swallowed. "She's too young for all that, isn't she?"

"Boy, you have been out of the loop, haven't you? Well, you have always liked roller coasters. You've just signed up for the ride of your life."

He cast a worried look upstairs. "Yeah, but the roller coaster rides have an end...does she?"

"I don't know...do I have an end?"

He glanced at her and then took a step behind her. "Oh yeah...and what a fantastic end it is too," he said huskily.

"Oh baby...it's just the beginning." She winked and headed to her room to do a little freshening up of her own.

----------------------------

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	10. Family Day

A quick call the evening before to Gillian from Catherine confirmed the plan for the Willows/Grissom family to all meet for breakfast. As they drove to Gillian's hotel, Catherine explained to Lindsey that Gillian hadn't yet been told of Gil and Catherine's marraige. Things had simply been happening too fast. Lindsey agreed to not mention it until they had a chance to tell her.

Gillian met them in the lobby and they headed for a nearby cafe. It was a warm, quiet place and they were reasonably sure no one that they knew would be there. The two daughters had been introduced at the hotel but had been very quiet on the ride to the cafe. Lindsey seemd to be eyeing her older sister and sizing her up. Gillian seemed content to let Lindsey have whatever space she needed to adjust to her.

Once their orders had been placed, Catherine tried to get the conversation going. "So Gillian...have you had a chance to see any of Vegas?"

"Well, I visited a couple of the casinos and I went down to Fremont Street. Other than that, no...not really."

Catherine flashed Gil a look that cued him."Why don't we spend the day showing you around?"

"That would be wonderful." She seemd to see an opening with Lindsey and asked her, "what would you reccommend that I see in Vegas?"

Lindsey thought for a moment. "well, we have some great shops...and there's the zoo, of course, if you like zoos. There's the Adventuredome if you like rides and there's the museums, if you prefer that sort of thing."

"Wow, those are some diverse choices. I think we'll skip the zoo, if that's okay. But what kind of museums? And the Adventuredome sounds exciting."

Gil lit up when she mentioned the Adventuredome. He was afraid he'd be stuck shopping all day.

"Well, how about a museum this morning and the Adventuredome this afternoon?"

"Oh wait," chirped Lindsey, "what about the mermaid show at the Silverton? It's really great."

Catherine smiled at Lindsey's enthusiasm. "That is a good idea...if Gillian is interested in big fish and mermaids."

"Sounds intriguing," said Gillian. "There seems to be so much to see and do. Too much for one day. How about the Adventuredome, the mermaids, and if there's time a museum. Or maybe we could do a museum and some shopping tomorrow?"

Gil and Cathexchanged a glance, signaling to each other that the plan worked for each of them. "Sure," said Catherine.

The waitress brought their food and they ate in relative quiet. Finally Catherine spoke up. "Before we get into the fun of the day thought, there's something Gil and I need to share with you, Gillian."

Suddenly Gil felt queasy. How was she going to take the news? Would she be angry that they could had married years ago and kept her instead of Catherine giving her up for adoption? His brow furrowed a little as he struggled to stay calm.

Gillian was watching her mother intensly. "You have something to share?" The idea seemed to rattle her.

"It seems that your appearance in our lives after all this time has caused us to do some serious thinking about the choices we've made over the years. And it made us..."

"Made me," Gil interrupted as his hand covered hers. . "Made me realize how badly I messed up twenty years ago when I let Catherine get away." He smiled at his bride. "So I asked her to marry me and she agreed. And so we are..." his expression was full of love, "married."

Lindsey loved it when Gil looked at her mother that way. She thought it was mega romantic. Gillian looked a little stunned. "You're married? When?"

"Night before last," answered Catherine.

Gillian's eyes grew wide. "Wow...I don't know what to say."

"Well, obviously you have to be wondering why we couldn't get our act together before you were born," offered Catherine.

"I...well, yeah...I have wondered that. I mean, when I saw the two of you together, it seemed like you had been married for years. One of those rare couples that is still so much in love and yet so familiar and comfortable with each other. It makes sense for you to be married."

Gil smiled at his daughter. "And we have you to thank...I have you to thank for opening my eyes to what I have been missing out on all these years. I don't plan on missing anymore."

Gillian smiled. "Well, glad I could help."

Once they had finished breakfast and the wedding story, the foursome headed out for a fun day in Vegas.

Lindsey was happy at first, enjoying the Adventuredome. She loved roller coasters; it had always been a specia lthing that she and Gil did together. Mom didn't like them and her dad never seemed to have time when he was alive. Gillian, it seemed, enjoyed them too They rode other rides and took in the entire experience before heading to the Silverton for the fish and mermaids. All of them were a bit hungry so they ordered a late lunch at the Mermaid Restaurant while they watched the show. Gillian was intrigued; she had never seen anything quite like it. Lindsey had been excited about the show but got quieter and quieter as the day wore on. She watched as her mother and Gil seemed so involved with their newe daughter. Lindsey liked Gillian, but she felt herself getting angry as the day wore on. She didin't understand why she felt like she did; she only knew that she didn't like the situation.

After the mermaid show, Gil suggested the Guggenheim at the Venetian. "It has works from several of the Masters," he said, smiling. Gillian quickly agreed and they headed over. Disappointment waited for them when they arrived because the museum was closed while they brought in new exhibits. Catherine suggested they visit Madame Tussauds instead.

Laughing, Gillian remarked, "wow, that's quite a switch."

As they toured the wax museum, Gillian seemed more fascinated with the process more than the results. _A true scientist _thought Gil.

They ended their day at Postrio, where Gillian and Lindsey went for the pizza. Catherine ordered seafood and Gil decided on the Peking Duck. They were chatting as they waited for their food, with Gillian bubbling about all they had seen and done. Again Lindsey grew quiet. Catherine was noticing her younger child's mood and asked if she was okay. "sure Mom," she replied. but her face said otherwise.

Everyone grew uneasy as Lindsey's mood took on more life. She sat, glaring at everyone and no one in particular. Her expression grew cloudy and Catherine knew a storm was about to burst. "Sure you're okay, honey?"

Lindsey threw her napkin on the table and walked off, disappearing just outside the patio. Catherine started to follow but Gil caught her. "Please Cath...can I try?"

Catherine nodded and returned to the table where she absent mindedly chatted with Gillian. Gil followed Lindsey and found her just outside the patio. She was staring ahead at nothing, as far as he could tell. "Lindsey?" he whispered.

Not looking at him she grumbled, "what?"

"You okay? No, I can tell you're not...what's wrong?"

Her face turned to his and he was surprised by the intensity of her glare. She sent daggers through his heart with that look. "I'm won't anybody believe me?"

"Because we know you are not fine." He stepped closer to her. "You've had a lot to deal with these past few days. My guess is that it is all getting to you."

"Getting to me? Yeah...well...actually, she's getting to me."

"She?" Then the light turned on in his brain. "Gillian?"

"Yeah, she's too nice and too understanding. And the way you and Mom drool over her...it's disgusting."

Gil was shocked at what he was hearing. Lindsey was furious because they actually wanted to get to know the girl. Then he realized something else; Lindsey was jealous. "Honey, you know your Mom loves you...and I do too if that matters to you. I hope it does."

"Sure...she loves me because she has to...but you, Gil...you don't have to love me and now you have your very own daughter and ..."

Suddenly Gil understood. "Honey, just because she has my genes and you don't; that doesn't mean I love you any less."

"Right. Why do you need me around; you have her now?" Tears were rolling down her cheeks.

Stepping even closer, Gil hugged her and held her tightly. "Honey, I know you've heard the story of the night you were born...but you've never heard my version of it."

"What's that got to do with anythig?

"It has everything to do with you and how I feel about you. You know that your Mom couldn't find your Dad anywhere. In a panic, she called me to take her to the hospital. I stayed with her through most of the labor, but I guess I was turning green or something because they made me leave and sit down outside. After you were born, one of the nurses came and got me. I was checking on your Mom when they brought you in for her to see. She held you for a few minutes while the nurse watched. I'll never forget that image...like a snapshot that is forever etched in my brain. She was so beautiful as she gazed at you and talked so softly. The nurse mistook me for the father, I think, because when she took you from your Mom, she put you into my arms. You were very sleepy. It had been a long afternoon for you. Your little mouth stretched into the most awesome yawn I've ever seen and your eyes blinked. As I stood there holding you, it was like you reached into me and grabbed my heart. Honey, whether I am your real father or not, you'll always have me. I've watched you grow from that fascinating little baby to the young woman you are becomming and I've always felt the connection. No one can ever replace you in my heart. I hope you can accept that and understand just how much I love you. Marrying your mother is a dream come true for me, but having you in the package just makes it so much sweeter."

Lindsey stood quietly in his arms for another minute and then looked up. "It was always like you were another father for me...I have always known I could count on you; even more than my Dad."

"And you can still always count on me. If I hadn't been so stupid early on, you would be my daughter for real. But I've always felt like I was at least a favorite uncle." His voice was tender and quiet, soothing her.

She hugged him again and then very quietly asked, "Gil? Would it be okay...I mean could I...well, can I call you Dad?"

He squeezed her closer to him as a tear made its way down his cheek. "Honey, I think that's about the best thing I could ever wish for. Yes, it's okay. And I hope that's the way you think of me...or will come to think of me. I have always wanted to be your Dad."

"Really?' She looked at him, astonished.

"Really," he smiled. "You ready to go back in?"

"Sure...Dad." She wore a huge smile as they headed back to Catherine and Gillian.

PUREJOYPUREJOYPUREJOYPUREJOY

I hope you liked this chapter. My batteries are on low and the little bunnie in my brain is slowing down. Guess hat recharges the batteries? The littl ebutton is down there, why don't you push it and see what happens.


	11. Saying GoodBye

The foursome enjoyed the rest of the evening together, first over dinner and then simply chatting in Gillian's room at the hotel. The girls agreed to meet in the morning for a shopping spree, for which Gil was glad that he had not been invited along. He would meet them later for a late lunch, a visit to a couple more museums and then dinner. Gillian was leaving early the day after, so they wanted to pack as much into her last day as possible.

Back at Catherine's, Lindsey said good night, giving her mother a hug. Then she shyly approached Gil. "Good night, Dad," she said as she hugged him too. Gil held her an instant longer than necessary before letting her escape to her room. Catherine watched her daughter, who was smiling, head upstairs. Then she turned to GiIl, "Okay, what did you do to my daughter?"

Confused, Gil gave her the 'what, me?' look of innocence. "I think she was upset because she thought that somehow having Gillian around would make me love her less. I just told her the truth; I've always wished she were my daughter and that I've loved her from the moment she was born."

"You did? You have?" Catherine asked, surprised.

"She's a part of you, Catherine. How could I not love her? Anyway, she asked if she could call me Dad and I said I'd like that." He shrugged.

"She gave me a hug, something I don't often get from her...and she's smiling. And you act as if it's no big deal. Amazing!"

Gil listened to her, amused. "I'll tell you what I think is amazing, Cath. You are. And I'd like to take you to your bed now and show you just how amazing I think you are." His expression had changed to a lusty one.

"You're on, Bugman." She turned and he followed her up the stairs, taking in his favorite view...her lovely, cativating tush.

"I know where your eyes are," she giggled to him over her shoulder.

"Just keep moving," he replied."I love it when you move like that."

The next morning, Catherine and Lindsey were out early. Gil was left in peace to read his journals and have a little 'Gil time' as Catherine had called it. He loved his new family; loved being surrounded by them. But he needed some time to himself too. This was all so new to him and he wasn't used to having people around him all the time. He enjoyed the quiet.

Later they met at the Canyon Ranch Cafe. The ladies had just finished touring the Grand Canal Shoppes. Once lunch had been consumed, they headed to the Bellagio Gallery of Fine Art, where Picasso's Ceramics were on display. While they were there, Gil insisted they go to the Conservatory. Then they went to see the fountains. As they stood and watched the water show, Catherine watched her two daughters. They were so different but she also saw some similarities. Gil, watching her, gently put his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. "You make beautiful children, Cath...inside and out."

With tears in her eyes she looked up at him. "They are beautiful, aren't they?"

"Just like their mother."

They decided on dinner at the House of Blues, where they enjoyed the music as much as the food. Gillian seemed to be enjoying their company, as well as seeing Vegas. Lindsey was warming to her sister. And Catherine was in awe of the whole chain of events that led them here. As for Gil, he was bowled over. In a few short days, he'd gone from lost and bewildered to a man who had everything; a beautiful wife and two lovely daughters and a future filled with promise.

The next morning, they all went to the airport with Gillian. Gil and Catherine invited her to come back anytime and pleaded with her to stay in touch. Lindsey gave Gillian her e-mail address so that they could communicate also. Gillian thanked them for welcoming her and thanked Gil for his insight into her hearing situation. She assured him that she would follow up with her doctor and look into the surgery. Catherine, Gil, and Lindsey stood and watched as Gillian made her way through the security gate and disappeared into the crowd.

On the drive home, Gil spoke to his little family unit. "Okay, ladies...I think we have some serious discussions ahead of us. One is about where we'll live. Also, Mrs. Grissom, he smiled at her, you and I need to decide how we're going to tell our CSI family that Mama Bear and Papa Bear finally got married. Ane do we want to share Gillian with them yet? And Lindsey, we need to talk about this whole 'Dad' thing and what I expect that means and what you think it means. So, we'll order pizza and have a family conference today." Gil was proud of his 'Father Knows Best' leadership style.

Lindsey rolled her eyes in the back seat. Catherine sat with her jaw agape. "Where did that come from?" she asked finally.

"What?"

"The whole 'large and in charge macho man' thing...not to mention the 'family conference."

"Too much?" He looked sheepish.

Catherine started laughing. "Well...coming from Gil Grissom...it's just kind of shocking. But I love a strong man."

Gil made a pouty face and came back with, "but I thought you said you love _me_."

She swatted his arm and laughed again. "You look like Gil but, give it up...where'd you hide him?"

"That's the thing...he's been in hiding for years." He glanced toward her, his eyes giving away his feelings. "But you brought him out into the light...you and Lindsey."

Lindsey smirked but inside she was smiling. Catherine stared at him in silence, falling even more in love with her man of mystery.

Much pizza was consumed at the family conference. It was decided that Gil's townhouse would go on the market immediately. The equity from that sale would be used as downpayment on a house that they would build. They would continue to live in the Willows house until their house was complete. The equity from the sale of Catherine's house would go toward Lindsey's college fund.

Lindsey told Gil that being her Dad meant that he had to be really cool. He was expected to let her do all the cool stuff, not tell her what to do, and like any boys she chose to date. Gil shared with Lindsey his views on fatherhood. He was to watch out for what was best for her, not necessarily what she wanted but what she needed. He would check out any boys that came around and if they were not found to be worthy of her, they would be thrown out. And as for him being really cool... "Well Lindsey, I am what I am and no one has ever called me cool."

"Okay," she moaned. "But can I tell my friends at school about you guys getting married and that I have a new Dad...and about Gillian?"

The parents looked at each other. "Sure," Catherine said.

After that, Lindsey headed to her room. She didn't care what they told the CSIs. She had news for her friends and planned to be on the phone and online all afternoon.

"So, when do well tell the others?" Catherine asked.

"We go back to work tomorrow night," he replied. "Although I'm sure they are already wondering what's going on. Sara can't have been totally quiet on our breakup and me taking off and then you taking off for the same period of time...that has to have them asking questions."

"Yeah...I wonder if Sara guessed it?"

"Probably, but I don't think she would have said anything."

"None of them can have guessed about Gillian though."

"No. I think...well, as long as we're telling them about us...shouldn't we go ahead and tell them about her? I don't want it to be a big thing when she comes back. At least not like that."

"Yeah...let's just get it all out at once."

"Why don't I call and invite them all to dinner before the shift? Brass and Sofia too? We can tell them then, in a more casual way, I mean."

"Good idea. Where will we go?"

"The ususal place...it just seems right to have our CSI family conference at the diner."

Catherine nodded her agreement and Gil started making calls. Within an hour he had them all agreeing to meet tomorrow night, except Sara. He had saved her call for last. Catherine had sat with him but as he began to dial her number, she quietly moved to the other room. He needed to have this conversation in private.

"_Sidle"_

"Sara, it's Grissom." His voice sounded flat.

"_Yeah...caller ID, remember_?"

"Oh...yeah. Are you okay?"

"_Ah...sure_." She sounded angry.

"Um...well, I'm calling ...well, a lot has been happening these past few days...and well, there's some news I need to share with the team."

"_Like we split and you're with Catherine now_?" He could hear her tears.

"Um..well...I thought you would have told them about our...br...about you moving out."

"_Sort of...I told them we needed some space_."

"But you said...you told me... you kicked me out of my own house while you packed to leave..."

"_Yeah...well_..."

"Look...it's done.I really didn't call to rehash..."

"_Amazing_."

"What?"

"_You've already moved on. Did I mean so little_?"

"No...Sara...look, you were a breath of Spring to me. But..."

"_Not 'the one_.'

"If you'll remember, you were the one that told me that."

"_Yeah...smart me_."

"Look Sara, the team is meeting at the diner tomorrow night before the shift. I have some news to share. If you are interested, please be there."

"_Yeah...sure_..." Her voice sounded tight, as if she were struggling to speak.

"And Sara...I'm sorry...really sorry that I hurt you. It was never my intention."

"_Yeah, well you know what they say about the road to hell, don't you_?" Her bitterness came through to him, loud and clear.

"I'm sorry...I don't know what else to say...I'm sorry.

Her end of the line went dead. He sat quietly for a minute. Catherine came back in. Walking up behind him, she wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on the back of his shoulders. They stayed like that until he spoke, "I really screwed up with her."

"Gil, she pursued you relentlessly. We were all taking bets on how long it would take her to snag you. Where you screwed up was twenty years ago, and you're doing your best to make up for that now. Remember me? Don't look back, no regrets? You said you envied that once. Try to take it to heart. We've both done the best we could and finally it's coming together. Don't go second guessing that now."

He turned to her and hugged her tightly. A tear had found it's way down his cheek. "I'm not second guessing. I know that being here with you is right, for all of us. I just wish she hadn't been hurt."

"Yeah...I know." She held onto him and then suggested, "let's go up to our room. No funny stuff, just snuggle time. I think we both could use a little snuggle time right now."

"You sure...no funny stuff?"

"Well, we'll see. But snuggling is definatly first on the list."

Smiling he took her hand and led her upstairs.

PureJoyPureJoyPureJoy

I',m kind of enjoying putting htis together. It is lighter than so many things I've written but it has Gil and Catherine right where I want them. I hope you are enjoying too. Please leave a review and tell me what you think.


	12. Moving Forward

Monday night came quickly. Gil and Catherine arrived at the diner early. The others trickled in; all except Sara. Brass was trying, without success to look like everything was ordinary but a grin kept breaking out; he thought he knew what was up. Nick and Warrick looked like they were uncomfortable. Both thought that maybe Grissom had finally had enough and was announcing that he would be leaving. Greg was excited and Sofia just looked curious.

They engaged in small talk until the food had arrived. Gil sat watching his friends and suddenly was excited to be sharing his news...their news. Finally he began, "I know you all have wondered what's been going on..."

"Yeah. like you and Sara broke up and she's been a real...OUCH!" Greg jumped as Nick kicked his shin. "What'd you do that for?"

"Tine to shut up, Greggo," replied Nick. Greg's shoulders slumped and he got quiet.

"Anyway," continued Gil, "I did something pretty unexpected the other day...especially for me. I...um...well, I asked Catherine to marry me and she said yes." He looked at her and she smiled at him.

Brass broke into a huge smile. "About time..."

The others seemed a little shocked but generally receptive to the news...except Greg. "What about Sara? Is that why you and she...OUCH!" This time it was Brass that got him.

Understanding that they were confused, Gil tried to explain. "Look, I don't know what she told you, but she did the breaking up. And in doing so, she made me realize something that I'd buried for a long time. She made me realize that after all these years, I was still in love with Catherine. You guys can't know it because you all came later, but Catherine and I fell in love after I first came to Vegas. We, uh...dated, sort of but then I got cold feet and pulled back."

Catherine was watching everyone's reaction and watching Gil too. Greg's mouth was hanging open a little. Brass looked like the cat that swallowed the canary. Nick looked confused and Warrick was watching...waiting to hear the rest. Sofia had a look of one who had just solved a major puzzle. Gil looked nervous. She spoke, "thing was, Gil didn't know and I didn't tell him that I was pregnant."

"Whoa," said Nick. Surprise surrounded the table.

"Anyway, I had the baby and gave her up for adoption. Gil and I worked past the situation and became very good friends, as you've seen. Then suddenly the other day, our daughter called and she came to meet us."

"Wow. What's she like?" asked Warrick.

"She's beautiful," answered Gil. "Just like her mother."

Greg perked up at that news. "Like Catherine? A younger version...wow, awesome."

Gil shot Greg a frown that said 'back off.' "Yes, but she went back home yesterday. Hopefully she'll come to visit again."

"Oh, wait a minute...I heard you had brought a visitor to the lab the other day...that was her, wasn't it?" asked Nick.

"Yes."

"So Gil, how are you liking fatherhood?" asked Jim.

"Gillian's great, but I doubt that I'll ever really get to be a father to her. Her adoptive parents will always be first for her, I think. And that is as it should be. But I think we all got along okay. It's being a father to Lindsey that will be the challenge."

"And the wedding?" Sophia finally spoke. "When?"

"The other night," smiled Catherine.

"Oooh...the night you mysteriously became ill," teased Greg.

""That would be the night, " she laughed.

"Well, we all know what a raw deal Catherine is getting, so let me congratulate you, Gil, on catching such a prize," said Jim. The others joined in with their congratulations. Sophia admired Catherine's ring and they chatted for a minute.

"So, what are you going to do about Sara?" asked Nick. Everyone got quiet.

"I..um...I think she has kind of guessed most of it already. I tried talking to her, but she's pretty angry with me. I suppose she has a right to be..." said Gil. "But I'll talk to her tonight. Catherine can hand out the assignments while I tell her. I just...need to explain the whole story to her. I had...um...never told her about Catherine and me all those years ago. But she knew there was always something between us. Look guys, it's going to be rough for her. I can't ...well, she's going to need friends and I'm not the one to be her friend right now. Please, I know you all like her and consider her a friend...be extra good to her for awhile."

"You know we will, boss," said Nick solemnly.

They all sat quietly for a minute until Greg piped up. "Hey, do we get to kiss the bride?"

Catherine laughed and the others joined in. Even Gil saw the humor. "Just remember Greg, she's taken."

All the men took turns giving Catherine a brotherly peck and Sophia hugged her and then gave Gil a sisiterly peck. They finished their meal and soon it was time to head off to work.

In the car Catherine looked across at Gil. "Well, that went better than I thought it might."

"Yeah, it did. I'm glad. I was worried they might be upset about Sara."

"I think they are upset that she's hurting. But I think they understand."

Gil thought for a minute and then a warm smile crept across his face. "We have very good friends, Cath."

"Yes, we do...but then, Papa Bear...you raised the kids right."

Gil chuckled. "I just hope Sara doesn't explode."

At the lab, the team gathered in the break room. Gil went to his office. Quickly he divided the assignments and walked them into the break room to give to Catherine. "When Sara comes in, send her to my office."

He headed back and sat at his desk. There on the desk blotter sat an envelope. He recognized the handwritting. It was Sara's. Slowly, his stomach churning, he opened it and pulled out a letter.

_Dear Grissom,_

_Enclosed you will find my resignation letter. After speaking with you on the phone, I realized that I had finally, totally lost you. Perhaps it is my own fault for leaving you like I did but I couldn't stand having Catherine in the middle of us anymore. I'm guessing your big news has to do with wedding plans. If she is 'the one' that can truly make you happy, then I am happy for you. I do love you and want you to be happy. I thought for awhile that I could be your 'one' but the last few months, I've known that I wasn't. I suppose we could have gone along as we were for a very long time, but neither of us is the type to settle for less than the best result._

_I 'm not sure where I'm going, but I know I can't stay here. I need to start fresh. I hope you and the guys will understand. I'll e-mail when I get situated and let you all know how I am._

_It all still hurts right now, but I know I can move on. I just need the space to do it. I'll always love you , Gil, and I'll always be wishing for your happiness. Hopefully there's a little part of you that feels the same about me._

_Love,_

_Sara_

_P.S. Please tell Catherine that I said congratulations and wish her happiness too._

Gil sat, staring at the letter, tears gathering in his eyes. "I'm sorry Sara," he whispered.

Catherine came in a few minutes later. "Where's Sara?"

Gil looked up and she immediatly went to him. "Gil?"

He handed her the letter. She read it and then looked at him. "You going to be okay?"

He stood up and opened his arms. She stepped into his much needed embrace. Swallowing he said, "I am now."

"That's quite a letter from her. Totally unexpected."

"Yeah. I know you and she didn't always get along so well, but she really is a good person...good hearted."

"I know. We probably could have been closer, but you were always in the middle."

"Yeah...well, no one's in the middle now. I just hope she find happiness."

"Yeah, me too."

"Cath?"

"Hmmm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

He looked deep into her eyes opening his heart and soul as he continued, "And I'm really looking forward to our future."

"Me too. And won't this be a wild wedding story to tell our grandchildren?"

"Grandchildren?" Panic riddled his voice.

"Hey...you're the one that is talking about the future..." she laughed.

"Yeah...our future." He kissed her and then gathered her into another hug.

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Please let me know what you think of the story. Reviews encourage me to keep writing. Of course, if you don't like my stories... But really, I am interested to hear what you think. The little button is still there...


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